Girls........

(NOTE:Though universally applicable to almost all girls please notice all girls who will be reading this are exception............)

According to Bible Lord said "Let there be light!" & the world came into existence sun,moon,ocean,Adam everything materialised.......that's actually only half of the story.The second part is world's best preserved secret.It goes like this.....after creating world Lord said "Let there be Problem" & Eve made her way from sky into the world!
If you want to commit suicide & are too reluctant to eat Cyanide,or don't want to hang yourself,or acrophobic I have a simple solution......spend an hour or so with a girl (I'm not saying she would kill you but she will make sure that above mentioned options become more feasible), & if you survive that hour without much of brain damage then remember you are enlightened one.In that case you should give up the idea of suicide & spend your rest of life preaching the world.
Girls.....they are so enigmatic.There are some people out there trying to invent time machine but I'm sure even a person whose IQ equals [(Einstein+Newton+Hawking) square] can't predict how a girls might react in next five seconds.
If you think finding out Osama Bin Laden is a tough job try to go out with a girl for shopping.I have never seen a shop which can provide a girl exact shade of top,nail polish or any such thing & invariably the shop has many shades "resembling" the shade they want.If you enter a boutique with a girl & succeed in leaving that place within an hour please contact Mr.Obama he needs you desperately.
If you enter ladies compartment you are kicked on butt & if a woman enters other compartment it's your "moral responsibility" to get up & give her your seat.If you are getting late for exam & queue is never-ending & you ask a girl near counter to get you a ticket you are history (pls don't try this results may be fatal) & for a girl ticket counter is always a smile away.It has become an unwritten rule if a man & a woman are quarreling the man is to be blamed & deserves a severe punishment (Last part is appplicable to those who are percecuted by system & are waiting to unload themselves).Over all this all men have to listen how women are not still empowered..........
So after thinking all about this I have come to a conclusion before they make your life miserable accept the fact " GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS" & learn to live with it.In case it's just too much listen to Billy Joel number "She's always a woman"..........turn up the volume..........enjoy.........even if you can't!

Art of saying "NO!"

          Blessed are those who can plainly say "NO!",without any hesitation or feeling guilty about it...............Unfortunately for me (& fortunately for all parasites who know me) I'm not blessed with this quality.

          While putting forward his theory of evolution Mr. Darwin missed very important point.I  strongly recommend that if theory of evolution is rewritten "Survival of creature with capability of refusing" should be included instead of "Survival of fittest".Only people having some experience would know how badly it hurts to get feeling of "I could have said NO!!!!!!" & how difficult it is to survive without saying NO.

          May it be my neighbor asking me to get her something even when I'm evidently in hurry (as if I have all time in world) or my fellow passenger in train asking me to shift a bit (even when I'm fourth person sitting & already putting great effort to maintain my equilibrium) or any random XYZ person asking me to do any random ABC thing when knowing I have to something else which is more important than ABC; know one thing for sure, this person has some serious problem with his vocal chords due to which can't utter the magical word "NO!".
          World would have been a lot better place had my vocal chords allowed me to pronounce "NO!".


          & now as I live on with this problem & as all the parasites I know (In some cases I don't even know) continue using me like a useful resource of work I'm searching for a nice tutor who would teach me to pronounce "NO!" or a skilled surgeon who can fix my vocal chords.........anyone interested in job.........please!!!!!!!!